Not what I thought, but it’s good!

I’m loving this season in Kenya, though it is nothing like I thought it would be, and it is full of hard, but good lessons.  

I am learning that though seasons may not look anything like what we think they are going to, God knew exactly what it would look like and brought us into it with purpose.  This means that even in the tough things, the things you didn’t expect (or necessarily want), you can rejoice because He knows why He brought you and all He plans to accomplish in and through you.  

I am learning that to die to self is very painful, and that when you pray for it to happen, God will answer it, so you better be prepared for it!  To die to self means to see those nasty things that are still inside you (pride for one), and have Holy Spirit walk you through the pain of getting rid of them. It’s not fun but it truly is freeing! 

I am learning that I am enough because Jesus is enough, and though I see overwhelming need all around me, I don’t need to solve or fix everything.  The truth is, I can’t solve or fix anything and He’s not asking me to, He is simply asking me to love the one in front of me, and to do that well.  I can do that.  I was made to do that!  I just need to ask Him who the one is and He has proven that He will show me.

I am learning that I make my plans and He directs my steps, and that He is a consummate Master at getting me where He wants me to go, even when that place is not on my radar.  If I had not thought I was meant to stay in Zambia then I wouldn’t be here in Kenya, but He has shown me clearly that I am not meant to return to Zambia for an extended time period, at least not yet, but I know that I am meant to be here in Kenya!  

I am learning that He is faithful in every step, especially in the unknowing.  Right now I do not know what my life will look like from February next year, but I know He does, and I am learning that knowing the One that I walk with is enough.  As hard as this often is, being on a different continent and many miles from those I call family, faith needs to be walked if it is to grow, and each new step builds my confidence and faith for the next step.  

I am learning that seasons where we feel isolated and alone can be the times of greatest revelation.  I feel like I am currently on a fast track training course, with several strands all running concurrently, some days are great and others feel a little overwhelming.  There have been other seasons in my life that felt like this, but I was always surrounded by great fellowship, those who loved me, supported me, encouraged and championed me.  This season is different:

I’m in Kenya, many miles from fellowship, and this feels like a very isolated journey.  

I live on my own.  

I am usually the only white face I see wherever I go.   

I have no local church fellowship.  

I have spent every night for almost 2 months on my own. 

This is not a complaint, this is just how this season looks, and as hard as it is, it is good!

I am learning that when everything that we rely on instead of Jesus is stripped away, when all those relationships that we can run to first before Him are gone, then He comes through again and again.  

I am learning that in a season of isolation, revelation from the heart of the Father abounds.  He truly never leaves us or forsakes us, and sometimes He just wants us all to Himself for a while!

I am learning that He is the best counsellor and He is not afraid of tears or emotion, in fact, He brought me here to unpack some of them.

I am learning that in every season worship is our best defence and worship is our best offence.  It is in worship that I see the Victorious One, the One who is over every difficulty I see and every hard circumstance I face, and I get to see them all from His perspective.  There is nothing that throws Him or makes Him second guess His choices.  He knows the end from the beginning and He knows right where I am, everything I am facing, and what He is building in me for this season and the seasons to come.

I am being reminded again, that it is in the hard times of life, the trials that we face and the difficulties that we navigate, that we are made more like Jesus.  It is as we look to Him in these times, as we turn our attention to Him and ask Him to sustain and guide us, that He is able to change our perspective and smooth over our rough edges a little more.  As a result, my heart’s cry is, ‘More Jesus, take me where only You can sustain me, where I need You more than anything else.  I want to be just like You, Jesus, do whatever it takes to make  that happen.’  The great thing is, I know He will because His word says that He will complete the work He started in me.

Whatever you are facing today look to Jesus, He is the Author and Perfector of your faith and He will give you His perspective to see things the way He does, and His way truly is the best.  He is preparing you for all He has for you in this season and the next and He will finish the work He started in you.  Just keep trusting and worshipping Him because He is worthy of it all.

I hope you enjoyed reading this.  

Adventures with Jesus!

Happy heart!  Blessed indeed!