God’s kindness in my transition

It’s been a while since I have written regularly, but with all that God is saying and doing in my life, it feels like a great time to pick it up again. I hope you are encouraged by what you read.

Over the last couple of years God has been speaking to me about moving. Over the last year this became about leaving the UK and going to the place He is calling me to. In the first instance this is Africa, and I will be going to Zambia on 1st July. After that, my heart is to end up in the Middle East, but how I get there, God only knows, literally!

As I approached it being 8 weeks until I leave, a week or so ago, I found myself feeling a little overwhelmed at the vastness of it all. In fact, I felt very overwhelmed by the size of what I am doing, and so I reached out to some good friends for prayer. I’m thankful to say that even in feeling overwhelmed, my sense of knowing that God is faithful and that He would work this all out never failed. That is His kindness!

His goodness was even more evident though when He began to talk to me about what I was doing and asked me to count the cost. At first, I found this hard because the things we were talking about didn’t feel like big things to give up. I wasn’t concerned with giving up my job, my house or my possessions. God has had me give up all these things before in different seasons, and I have learnt to hold on lightly to things because I recognise the I am only a temporary custodian of them. This is another aspect of His kindness, He prepares us for the things He asks of us.

Then the penny dropped and I realised what the cost was for me. What it was that I was truly giving up to go on this adventure with Him, and it was people! Those who know me, know that I am very intentional in my relationships and I love loving and encouraging people, it is such a big part of who I am. In leaving, it suddenly felt like I would be losing so much, the relationships I treasure would never be the same. I wouldn’t be able to pick up the phone and go for a walk or a coffee with a friend a short time later. My diary would not be full of dates with the wonderful people I do life with. This is the riches of my life, the amazing folk I get to call family and friends, and this to me, is the cost of going.

In His kindness, this realisation, though overwhelming, was His provision for me. It enables me to truly consider what my yes costs me and, in so doing, be able to grieve for the things that will change that matter to me.

So that’s where I find myself, in a season of saying goodbye and grieving for the things that will not remain the same. It means that I feel emotional and am often close to crying, especially when I am with those who mean the most to me. This is healthy though. It is healthy to grieve what we lose, it is a natural process in life. Again, the kindness of God is the He has taught me so much about grief through the death of my husband almost 8 years ago.

In the sadness there are reasons to celebrate and be thankful:

I have great friendships, that I will be sad to see change

The friendships will not die, they will continue, they will just look different

God is preparing me for my new season and I will not land in Africa and then have to grieve all that I have left behind

God is always good!

There are many more reasons to be thankful and celebrate but I will leave it there.

So, I look forward to the next 6 weeks now of walking the journey before I leave the UK. I look forward to the laughter and I look forward to the tears, for it all plays an important part in preparing me for what comes next.

I also look forward to the new relationships that He is going to open up for me, the new wonderful people who are going to become family and friends to me, because with God there is always more!